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Ivy League

Looks like the Ivy League isn't as coveted as it used to be. Seems like fewer and fewer top execs are turning out to be ivy league graduates.

I like how the article describes the typical Ivy League school - "an old Eastern university where pride in high SAT scores compensates for pathetic athletic teams and lame parties."

Play Dumb, Ladies

I feel like I have to be very careful in how I present this article.

It seems like the trend lately is that men prefer subservient women. There's an interesting study referenced where the prospect of marriage for men increased 35% for each IQ increase of 16-pts, but for women it was a 40% drop. The writer (a woman) of this opinion article wonders "So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax?"

Have you heard the one about...

"How do you tell when a lawyer is lying?”

"His lips are moving."

now go to jail....

North Korea Says I am Smarter than Hippies

now i dont feel bad about going bald....

[North Korean] television noted long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy

I'm a McMule

So I used to have an after school job as a waiter. Its pay was lousy.

After reading this, I kinda wished I lived in Australia once more.

It seems that international criminals recruited school kids to run money for them. These guys would get the bank information for the victims computer (through the usual way of spyway, virii, etc.) and then, this is the kicker, transfer the money out of the accounts into the kids account, in small doses. All the kids had to do was withdraw the money and give it to the criminals and they would get paid $500. Pretty good money for an after school job and no taxes. Although it probably wasn’t too smart on the criminals’ side, I don’t know that many kids with personal bank accounts in excess of $10,000.

Bad Judgement Leaves 36 Kids Injured

New Years Eve in Times Square with Millions of people packed in went off without a hitch. There was no terror or any major accidents. More drama happened in North Dakota on New Years Eve. On an all night New Years Eve Extravanganza for 100 children, more than 1/3 were involved in a massive sledding accident.

Using sleds fashioned from card board, the youth group went to go sledding on a hill that had a sign that specifically had a no sledding sign posted. Then, they piled 8-10 people per cardboard sled and came down in rapid succession. According to Police Sgt. Winston Black, "The sleds struck rocks, a light pole and each other."

This event sent kids to the hospital and 36 wounded.

Playing Hide the Salami down under

A Lesson to be learned: Don't play hide salami with Australian Airport Officials. You'll get slapped back with a $4000 fine.

A swiss foreign exchange student returning to Australia was found with 400 grams of Sausage in his luggage after telling officials that he was not carrying any food. A Perth Magistrate has fined Dylan Pascal Graves on the charges of knowingly making a misleading statement to an officer, and knowingly importing a prohibited food into the country.

This is supposed to serve as a warning to others that importing these meats might spread foot and mouth disease. Graves defense? He didn't declare it because was planning on eating it.

God has a sense of Humor

Just to let you know who's the boss, every now and then a story breaks out like this that let you know that the good man up stairs has a sense of humor. Who doesn't like to chuckle at someone else's ironic misfortune?

This story via the Keene Sentinal

On his way to deliver packages to Cheshire Medical Center in New Hampshire, a UPS truck driver had the misfortune of being involved in an accident. The accident meant that the driver had to be ambulanced to the hospital. This hospital happened to be Cheshire Medical Center.

However, the hospital was not able to do some of the medical tests it needed to do, because one of their machines was broken. The working parts for the machine were in the UPS drivers mangled van, back on the highway.

Calendar Reform

Dick Henry, An Astronomy Professor from Johns Hopkins University is advocating for the switch to the Common-Civil-Calendar-and-Time ( C&T ) Calendar. For those of you who are not familiar with the C&T calendar, here is his page on information about the C&T Calendar as well as additional information supporting his push for the global switch and answers to frequently asked questions.

The basic principle behind the C&T Calendar is that it never changes. This means Every year, March 17 is on the same day. This also means, you can buy that Cathy Calendar once, and use it FOREVER.

He also Pushes for the global adoption of UTC Time as the standard time, so that all around the world, everyone is on the same date and the same time.

Because this system eventually become out of sync with the Earth's cycle around the sun. Every 5 or 6 years we would celebrate a mini-month. This mini-month would be a week long and it would be called Newton Month.

At first I thought it was absolutely crazy, but after reading the site and thinking about it, it would be very convenient for the entire world to be on the same time, and on the same date. It would also be convenient to plan an academic calendar for one year and have it be the same forever. The only question is would the world adopt it? Only if people like you start using it. I'm contemplating of switching the post dates on this site to be fully compliant with the new C&T Calendar. Let me know what you think.

Click on the extended entry for a links to C&T Tools.

Link to 2004 C&T and Gregorian Calendar
Link to 2005 C&T and Gregorian Calendar
Tabloid size C&T Calendar

Finding yourself (literally) on the Net

No this isn't a christian post, but it does envolve a Roman Catholic priest.

On August 26th of this year Kevin Mura, of Crivitz WI dropped a friend off at Midway Airport in Chi-town. And then lost himself. Seems like he got "dissociative fugue, a psychiatric condition similar to amnesia in which an individual blocks out his own identity, usually as a reaction to stress." So he spends the next couple of months just bumming around the US, till he ends up Iowa. Goes to a church and gets the help of a Roman Catholic priest and a psychiatrist (sounds like the start of a bad joke), who get him to log on to the internet. And lo and behold, they find him on the missing persons page. Nothing liek findding yourself online.

here's a link.

P.S. This could have also gone under Wisconsin...

Whose the Man?

Man of the Year according to time magizine, One George W. Bush....

Landside brought me down...

cool video of some kayakers videotaping a massive landslide...

oh, Cnn.com you crack me up...

such clever headlines, geez they should be writing for us:

"Spilled bees on highway a honey of a mess"

the only question: who uses the line, "honey of a mess."?????

yet i know exactly what the driver was trying to do....

Lightning Quicksand

Does anyone remember the "lightning quicksand" of the fire swamp in The Princess Bride? Well looks like it's the real thing. Good quote - "The U.S. Army is very interested in this, because these days, the U.S. Army tends to go to desert states."

Do you think that's because they want to avoid this quicksand or they want to set up traps like it?

Sticking it to the man

Bernard Gardner is 87 years old. Yesterday he woke up and began jackhammering the road outside his home and building a fence in the street (annexing land like the family guy?). he was rather upset that the city had taken some of his property to expand the road. when did the city do such a thing? WHEN GARDNER WAS FIGHTING IN ITALY DURING WWII.

original source

Ouch

Marine Lance Cpl. David Battle was injured in Iraq and made a very serious choice. he chose to have his finger amputated rather than have doctors cut of his wedding ring. i guess it was an act of devotion to his wife. he lost the finger and here is the kicker the doctors LOST the wedding ring!

irony abound...

And you thought you were having a bad day....

sometimes the stories write themselves (which is nice)....

“I saw no other way out, grabbed a rusty two-and-a-half-kilo ax, took my penis out, put it on a log and bam!”

that is sooo last march.

in an attempt to be as cool as glenn (kyle) melin (meleen) man lands on a moving vehicle after his plane engine fails.

story here. although kyle's story is way better....

Live Strong? not if you wear it in the hospital

yeah everybody has a lance armstrong bracelet, even Kerry worn one. its a great cause to support cancer research!!!! but....

it appears as if the bracelets are the same color as "do-not-resuscitate" bands the hospital put on patients..... scary....

the story here...

Prohibition Inhabition

Lithuanian smugglers build a 3km pipeline to shuttle booze tween lithuania and belarus after watching an episode of the simpsons. apparently the pipeline ends in Moe's Tavern.

Eh?

a company has decided to offer a Candanian T shirt package so that american tourists abroad dont have to talk politics when traveling. the originator describing the idea....

“It’s not meant as a slight against the United States or Canada,” explained T-shirtKing.com President Bill Broadbent. “It was meant as something Republicans could give their Democrat friends to say ’C’est la vie.’ ... But maybe not c’est la vie because that’s a French word.”

article with pics.

Tis the Reason

a reason for not getting drunk, Crazy Horse Invincible
a reason for acting like James Bond
a reason for not urinating on a tree while holding a rifle

twas a good thanksgiving

today we got two stories to start off the week.

1. why rich kids dont study in college

2. the fun of urinating off high objects is enjoyed around the world.

Irony

Donald Trump's casinos have filed for banrupcy. the man who has a television show to teach you how to be successful isnt so sucessful himself.

Fast Food Nation?

our most coveted title as the world fattest people is slipping away to the aussies.

"THE average Australian woman is a size 16 and weighs 8kg heavier than her American counterpart"

and what is the reason for all this?

"I think the reason is there is a socio-economic difference. On average Australians are more affluent than Americans."

yet i think i know the real reason.

NEWS FLASH: Untapped Demographic, Breakfast Beer

often i wake up and while my fridge is stocked with beer, they just arent what im looking for in a breakfast beer. Yet, the english have designed a beer specifically made for breakfast drinking....

this same brewery also makes "strawberry and chocolate-flavored brews"

maybe NOah can review the taste of coffee beer....

World Toilet Summit Today!

China is hosting this great summit to discuss... toilets

other great toilet news like, fancy gadgets, fun facts like "the typical American uses 8.6 squares of toilet paper per bathroom visit and 57 squares a day.", and dual flush toilets that flush just a tad for liquid and... well you get the hint.

Note: one of the contacts is Mr. Stone Wang, 10 bucks if you can get him to do an interview for us

Girly Things?

so what do girls like? i got no clue but this is my vain attempt. in this neat lil peice of html we learn the final resting place of Jerry Seinfeld's Puffy Shirt and neat lil peice of news that Catherine Zeta Jones is knittting 35! ponchos for everyones Christmas presents.

girls like clothes right?

RoboRoach

the french has been able to make a robot cockroach that can fool real cockroaches into accepting it as one of their own. the company, Insbot, even made these neat lil videos to show it at work. While this is impressive it is not nearly at cool as robots from other parts of the world.

Too much of a good thing

So it seems there's this guy over in Eng-a-land, who has been kicked off an online dating service for sleeping with too many women.

Clive Worth, an ex-miner and 55, had 119 dates in five years and ended up in bed with over a hundred of them.

Either this guy is hung like a horse, or the women were very desperiate.

anyways here's the story:

I'VE CLICKED WITH TOO MANY DATES

Plus Sizes are Multiplying...

stores are now switching to fat mannequins in order to reflect fat america. check this quote,

"When you consider that two-thirds of the population are overweight, they’re making mannequins look more like real American bodies. An average height of 6 feet 4 inches and a 20-inch waist is not realistic. They should resemble a person.”

thoughts:

1. ok if i were to see a fat mannequin i would think they that would make me look that fat when i wear what the mannequin is... trick always make your product look the best it can be.

2. doesnt this endorse the fat lifestyle. if you are overweight because of genetics thats ok... if you are fat cus you are lazy and dont work out, do something about it.... i see arnold and i think wow i wanna look like that even though i never could, so what do i do i work out like arnold...
3. this trend endorse fat america and rewards laziness, "its ok not to work out its ok to be lazy..." arrrggghh... needless to say i went to the gym today...

note i win for the post with the most hyperlinks...

Evil Empire or All-in-one Computer Buffet?

Google is great but with Google making money it means mircosoft isnt... what is microsoft to do? destory and squish google to nothing by copying exactly what google does... so what are the odds microsoft will overtake google? for some reason i cant find the vegas odds.

Coke is so last week...

pepsi and coke are facing competition... Jones Soda Co. burst on the scene with odd flavored colas.... my personal favorite Green Bean Casserole

that chicken on the Jones site is rather scary...

War and Peace

What do soldiers do fore they go to war in Fallujah? listen to hardcore Jesus rock!!!

Screw the Bones, Where's the Ring?

scientist finds ancient fossilized hobbit bones in indonesia... bilbo baggins unavailable for comment...

Hero

everytime us celular drops one of my calls i feel like this....

Popemobile Upgrade

Ferrari is making the Pope a new ride. and its a forumla one car...

Was it Bro or Manzere

men are getting implants? i always thougt men wanted smaller breasts, no one wants man boobs. or well..

Check out my hot ride

In college, having a car is usually enough to make you attractive (well, perhaps not in my case). In the grown-up world, though, sometimes you need to bring out the firetruck to impress women.

So Thats Why Money Needs to be Laundered

An Iowan psychiatrist paid a parking ticket with money that had been smeared in human excrement. reminds me of a very famous penny sketch from upright citizens brigade that i watched at bryants house once....

source

kinda odd that a man with a graduate level degree would do this...

Rodney Dangerfield Dies at Age 82

A comic legend passed this week and in honor make sure you watch one of his quality movies this weekend...

O'Brien is Moving Up

Good news for Conan O'Brien - Leno has announced his retirement and placed Conan O'Brien as his successor. Too bad we have to wait until 2009...

Once Again We Didn't Make the List.

seriously if you people bought more/any T-shirts maybe next year bryant and i would be on Forbes 400 richest peoples list. what i really enjoy about these lists is the high amount of penniless people that are now extremely wealthy, including the guys from google. i still cant believe making a good search engine will make you several billion dollars..

Dude Wheres My Mints?

new cell phone to tell you if your breath stank. its nice to know some of our top scienctific minds are putting their time to good use. Your MIT degree called, it wants its prestige back....

Elton John Hates Taiwanese People!

It seems as if Elton John didn't have a nice trip to Taiwan this past week....

American History: Hippies Xprience Jail

whoaaaa... as if one child star getting arrested isnt enough. this time edward furlong tried to free lobsters from a tank in a Meier store while drunker than a skunk.. he also did some sort of dance.... maybe he was trying to re-enact lobster magnet... of which i do not have the link too...

another drugged out mug shot found here

also notice the pun in the posts title... i worked hard on that one...

Spainish Armada Had Less Defense

Man tries to have his wife arested for not having sex with him for five days straight. He claims domestic abuse and maybe he has a point. Is sexual congress within marriage a right?

Rogain, more like Roloss

bald men got more money. the truth is out. while it sucks i have a receding hair line its nice to know that someday ill have enough money to pay noah and bryant to wash my socks..

Average Age to Jump to 120

Britian's top scientists are claiming that major breakthroughs are coming which will extend expected life spans as much as another forty years. with all this extra time maybe ill have time to finish War and Peace after all...

American Pride.

we are the world leader in science for one reason: our top scientists are not muppets. if only britian could make the same claim.

Was the Royale with Cheese a Quater Pounder or a Big Mac?

rumors on a pulp fiction prequil

John Kerry a Studmuffin?

Survey finds democrats are better lovers.

noah and treehuggin' hippies everywhere rejoice.

bryant and i sulk in shame....

To censor or not to censor: a question only i would ask

did you know there are ways to censor obscene content out of your movies? this article tried such means and found them lacking:

"I quickly discovered that watching Austin Powers with filters is like eating a ham sandwich without the ham."

or if filters aren't your bag, then try clean films...

the question for me is this... in order to delete a sex scene from a movie you have to watch that scene say, i dunno, a couple of times to get the editing right... doesnt the defilement of the people making the clean version defeat the purpose? in order that you dont have to see a dirty part someone else had to see it a whole lot more.... preplexing...

At least steal a car you can get away in...

the list of the most stolen cars is in and what is the big winner... drum roll..... The 1995 Saturn SL... not its not a joke... seriously america needs to better educate its car theives about what cars are cool and which cars suck...

Abercrombie the Fitch

Oh Abercrombie, do you just exist to offend? Well, it looks like you're at it again by offending West Virginia. West Virginia's comeback is pretty weak though, "Oh yah? Well we have a lot of people in the military and a scholarship program!!" In other words... your residents can't afford to go to college?

Also have to mention Abercrombie's remarks on Wisconsin: "Wisconsin cuts the cheese." Good thing my home state, California, is free from ridicule.

man is only two percent short of being worlds hairest person. somebody should tell him about rogain

This story is about China's hairest man who wants to become a rockstar. to listen to his "hip beats" check out his official site.

unless you can read chinese when it asks you to install language pack just click cancel and turn up them speakers.

fun fact: hair covers 96% of Yu Zhenhuan's body...

Secret Agent Man

James Bond or Huckleberry Fin? you decide. either way this is a facinating read...

?

i would have assumed a decent high school team would have done better.....

this quote bout sums it up

"The loss was the second of the Athens Games for the Americans, matching their total from the country's first 68 years of Olympic competition."

Note: for most of those 68 years we only used college atheletes..

deadman walking...

man dies but then is kind enough to call his family and let them know where he is with a personal phone call..... artilce here

And Bryant thought the olympics were boring...

yesterday greece won the syncro-diving competition. who do they atribute their win to? a semi-naked man:

"Bimis said he didn't mind the fan intruder who climbed up onto an adjacent board wearing a tutu and extra-large clown shoes and plunged into the water before Germany's next-to-last dive. He considered it a good omen because it also happened at the European soccer championships last month, when Greece pulled off another upset victory."

more of the article. but the question is where are the pics?

Was there anyone more attractive?

Fred Savage, the star of the wonder years, has married his childhood friend.

yet it leaves me to wonder.... why on earth didnt he marry winnie cooper? and if he didnt marry her is she still available because she still looks amazing (click on photo gallery and headshots)? i vote that she is the next bc.com interview! i will have bryant paypal 20 bucks to any reader that lands us this interview

wonder years fun fact: winnie's real name was Gwendolyne

even in the hard times they stuck together like super glue

man glues himself to his girlfriend while in jail to avoid extradition. while he prolly won't suceed at his goal at least it got him some time on bryantchoung.com.

this crosses a line longer than the US/Mexican Border

new mexican reality show promises green card as its top prize. here is a quote from the cnn.com article:

"contestants willing to eat burritos crammed with live worms, jump off high-speed trucks or wash skyscraper windows in exchange for a year's legal help in speeding up their visa or green card cases."

has reality tv gone too far?

holland is just toe crazy of a place

tongue and toe contact to be outlawed in holland.

From batter to worse

donut drink bad idea.. Kristy Kream stock now is just as bad of an idea.

is this an end of an era? what other businesses will Atkins kill?

Audrey Seiler Style Again?

"An assistant principal at San Marino High School was arrested for allegedly sending herself 39 threatening letters she claimed were sent by students."

people who do what we do better than we do it.

just some random off beat kinda news stories for those of you who enjoy those sorts of things.

Theres Something About Cameron Diaz

Well well well, what is it about being famous that makes people want to take off their clothes in front of a camera. It looks like a video entitled "She's no Angel" featuring our favorite angel/ogre Camerons Diaz has recently been realeased on the internet in which the blonde starlet prances around topless and sprays her breasts with a can of condensed air. Or so I'm told. First the Paris Hilton sex tape, and now Cameron Diaz. With so many young attractive stars bearing all on the internet, the obvious question arises: Britney, what are you waiting for??

trip to australia: $1,000 buying a suitcase at a flea market: $35 findig out it had rare beatles recordings in it: litteraly priceless

local man buys a suitcase at a flea market in austrilia opens it up and find a treasure trove of beatles songs, tapes, and notes. his $35 will likely earn him more than a quater million dollars.

and while this story is great from his perspective i wonder how the poor bloak who sold the case feels. think about it you just sold one of the most rare and most desirable suitcases in the whole world for $35 bucks when if you had just opened up the item and looked inside you could have maybe even retired.

i wonder if we can get the person who sold the suitcase for an interview. i think that is the real story..

Stupid Dirty Video

The California's education commissioner Richard Riordan, the former Republican mayor of Los Angeles, was holding a story telling hour at a Santa Barbara library.

During story hour, Isis D'Luciano, 6, asked, "Did you know that my name actually means an Egyptian goddess?" she said with noticeable pride in her voice.

Quick to put this 6 year old girl back in her place, Riordan replied, "It means stupid, dirty girl." After the other kids laughed, he continued, "Hey, that's nifty."

Quick to attack the 70 year old white grandfather, the NAACP quickly jumped into the fray demanding that Riordan resign. Democratic state Assemblyman Mervyn Dymally was quoted in The San Jose Mercury News on Thursday saying the child was "a little African American girl. Would he [Riordan] have done that to a white girl?" Obviously, Dymally made the conclusion that Isis was black, because her name was Isis. They have since cancelled the protest.

You can watch the video of the events that took place here.

Cell Phone Radiation Levels

This is a list of all the radaition amounts of each cell phone on the USA market.. see how your phone, which is constanly by your head stacks up....

info on how to read the numbers...

Watch your beer bottles...

not only do people have to worry about the dreaded ciggarette beer but now you gotta make sure you don't pick up the beer with the mice in it...

this has all the makings of a hippie crime

i could write some humorous comments about this but i think the article speaks for itself...

how much is 49 kilos again?

here are some ways that others celebrate the fourth around the world.

NOTE: look at the pic about midway down. doesnt it look like the womans head is in the water????

and yeah once again the estonians won it... we cant win the hotdog belt and the finish ( finland ) cant win their national event....

There is always next year...

our eaters made big promises of bringing the coveted mustard yellow belt back to america yet, sadly such was not the case. once again the japanese destroyed the america eaters in nathans hotdog eating contest. they are amazing eaters yet very small (only about 110 pounds). 53 some hotdog and buns were consumed in only 12 minutes!!!!

and in late breaking news we have found the answer to why these little eaters can eat sooo much????

i wonder what these guys feel like after their done...

What is a lot of money?

Ken Jennings a mormon from Utah has broken records for Jeopardy by staying on for 18 consecutive shows and bringing his total winnings to more than 600,000.

The previous record was set by Tom Walsh and was a measly 7 shows and 180,000 dollars.

Ken Jennings attended Brigham Young University, and was on the College Bowl team there and also currently writes questions for the National Academic Quiz Tournament.

Asked what he plans to do with the winnings, Jennings replied that he's going to donate 10% of it to the mormon church.

While Jenning's streak is impressive, The sad thing is that they could end this streak by asking him, "This is what Joseph Smith produced by looking into a "magic hat" with "magic stones" and allegedly reading the word of God in a secret language which proclaimed that God gave him permission to sleep with other women, that the Jewish People and Jesus migrated to America and are ancestors to the Native Americans, and that if anyone else even saw these stones they would die." He would answer "What is the book of Mormon?" The correct answer would be "What is a hoax?"

Inappropriate!

The Smokinggun.com has a petition from the Attorney General of Oklahoma against Judge Donald Thompson.

The petition is quite a humorous read alleging that Judge Thompson did his business under his black robe during court procedings. His business includes using a penis pump, Oiling his "court marshall", and shaving his "bailiff".

After seeing this for more than 15-20 times, the court reporter decided that she had seen enough and decided to file for an investigation. 15-20 TIMES!?

Then came the outpouring of witnesses, jurors, cops, and others who testify that they heard a "ch-ch" sound that sounded like a blood pressure cuff. During court procedings. When they would ask the judge about it he would deny knowing what it was. After all who would suspect that he was pumping his ego during court procedings?

Then the cleaning staff came forward and said they had seen the pump under the desk of the Judge who claims it was a "gag gift from friends." Of course penis pumps aren't his bag baby.

If you have the time, read the entire the petition. I can only imagine how many times they had to stop for laughing breaks while writing this masterpiece.

Always gotta try to be Fancy

my favorite site on the web seems to have undergone a facelift of which i am not entirely happy about. its a lil more confusing now. maybe its confusing because i am not used to it or maybe fnc is just trying to do too much. you decide but know this even with this new obsticle i will still find interesting news to post..

in a non-related story noah is leaving for London on sunday for an entire year.. anyone wanna go visit him with me???

Poly - Esther

Looks like Madonna is changing her name. The artist formerly known as Madonna has had an impressive career and is probably one of the best known international artists in pop culture.

We've seen her go from having a British accent to having cone boobs. Now that she is a part of the Kaballah religion she wants to switch from her former name which was "giving her bad vibes." She was previously named after her mother who died of cancer when she was 5.

It does seem a bit odd that she is changing her name to Esther, but as we all know when people change their name it doesn't always make sense.

Click or Clink?

Lilia Belkova wants to be nominated for Miss Manners.

On a US Airways flight from Miami to Philadelphia Lilia Belkova refused to sit down in her seat and to hang up her cell phone. She said doing so would be rude.

After refusing to sit down when a stewardess told her to, two air marshalls got up and orderedher to sit down. After an air marshall put a hand on her shoulder to direct her to her seat, she turned around and slapped him on the face causing "minor swelling".

After being handcuffed and removed for causing trouble on a plane, Lilia Belkova has been jailed being charged with assaulting a federal officer and interfering with a flight crew.

The Olsen Twins Turn 18

Well according the a multitude of websites, everyone's favorite monkey-faced twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, will be turning 18 tomorrow.

I for one have never completely understood what all the excitement was about. I mean do you people really think that girls whose company makes a billion dollars a year are going to be willing to pose naked in Playboy for a few million dollars? Have you been waiting to fantasize about the Olsen Twins untill they were 18? In Any case, Happy Birthday Mary Kate & Askley.

Thumb press madness

I haven't been posting so much recently because I'm down in DC looking for a place to live. While I'm down here I've been living with a text message fiend. I must hear the ringer on Jim's phone go off every 10 minutes. Lately with cell phone companies offering unlimited text messaging plans allow people to send useless tidbits of information and pictures to each other that keep us entertained. It seems easy enough for the phone companies because the text messages probably take minimal bandwidth and it seems ridiculous to charge for each one.

That's precisely what ticked off Fraser Ray. His phone company was going to start charging up to 20 cents per text message. So Ray went on a mission. Stopping only 8 hours a day for sleep, he sent 2,580 messages every day for a total of 80,012 text messages. Had Ray been charged for those messages, he would have had a fat bill of over 10,000 dollars.

In related News, Rays friends have switched phone numbers and refuse to accept any more communication from Ray.

Can you hear me now? Good.

I thought people in the Midwest were all nice folk, but apparently nothing gets them riled up in Fargo like spotty wireless service.

According to Jason Perala, 22, he went to a Verizon Wireless Store in West Acres Mall in Fargo, North Dakota planning on yelling at store representatives. However, what ended up happening was something of a cross between nerd boy and the incredible hulk. He proceded to take off his shirt, put on safety glasses and the throw around computers and cell phones. Dissapointingly, he only caused about $2000 dollars in damage.

Imagine what this scene would have been like if he used Sprint PCS.

Equal parts means less children

This study finds that if work in a household isn't split evenly and put more on either the man or woman, it's more likely that there'll be a second child. I really didn't find this that interesting - I thought "Great, another pointless study." But then I saw that the study came from our own Brown University. So now it not only seems pointless it seems like a waste of funds.

But for the heck of it, I'll try to decipher these results: couples where the work is placed mainly on one person means that he/she is whipped and thus the other is agressive - and this aggressiveness leads to less careful love-making rituals. Either that, or it's become a contest between "modern" (where the man does more work) and "traditional" (where the woman does most of the work) and they're trying to breed and overwhelm the opposite side.

eat your way out

Crazy Legs Conti has placed himself in a phone booth full of popcorn. He has vowed to eat himself out of the buttered popcorn box in time to make his movie premier about competitive eating Crazy Legs Conti -- Zen And The Art Of Competitive Eating. These atheletes are truly impressive. I can't imagine being in a phonebooth of popcorn for 8 hours. The popcorn, the butter, the recycled fart air, not being able move, the kernels in your butt. It would be a horrible marriage of sensations.

Yeowch.

Ever since I first played Quake and developed a penchant for shooting things with a nailgun, a nailgun was always on the top of list of power tools I wanted to own. I heard though, that all nail guns come with a safety pressure switch such that it can only fire if it's being pressed up against something. Happy Gilmore made me question that. This makes me realize that there is no said safety method and that maybe a nail gun wouldn't be the best thing to own. X-rays are priceless.

Need help? Call A Hacker

I thought this was a real interesting story about the state of the telecom industry.

Someone had been making prank bomb threats into a high school. The local detective requested from SBC Ameritech to come up with the phone number that called at that time. SBC Ameritech came up dry. So the detective called up Kevin Mitnick. Apparently Mitnick knew the telco's system better than they did he ended up finding out who the prank bomber was. It apparently was a kid who was calling in bomb threats from his cell phone IN CLASS. Yeah, I know, it's crazy, kid's now have cell phones in class. What a wonderful world.

A plot to shoot 20,000 Koala

Koala populations on Kangaroo Island are booming. In fact, these lovable furry creatures are doing so well, Sandra Kanck of the Australian Democrats says we need to kill them. She pins the number at 20,000 koalas that need to be shot. She recommends bringing in professional koala shooters to do the job "quickly and cleanly."

Fortunately there are many opponents to this plan. I can't imagine a person with a cold enough heart to shoot a koala. So cute, so cuddly. What do they expect to do with all these dead koalas after shooting them?

In other news, Professional Koala hunters are finally getting employed, Koala burger lovers are cheering, and I'm looking forward to my Koala fur underwear.

Miami Police Drop Swimming Requirement

It's widely believed that white men can't jump, but apparently, black men can't swim.

"NORTH MIAMI, Fla. -- The North Miami police department dropped a swimming requirement for applicants, saying they need new officers and want to encourage blacks to sign up."

Destination: Chernobyl

In 1986, Reactor Four at Chernobyl power plant exploded, creating a radioactive cloud that covered a 20 mile radius in what is now the Ukraine. Nearly 20 years after the blast, Chernobyl has become a tourist attraction for about 3,000 people a year. Flocking to the site to see the abondoned ghost town and the multitude of greenery that has sprouted in the exclusion zone, tourists equipped with Geiger counters are venturing into a virtual time capsule.

Rock It Man.

Rocketman Eric Scott flew 46 meteres into the London sky marking the world record for the world's highest rocketbelt flight. Of course, it's easy to set the world record, when you're the first one to ever attempt to set the record, but that's completely irrelevant.

The Rocketbelt was designed by the US Military, but is now mostly used at sporting events and at world record breakings. But with great rocketbelt power comes great rocketbelt responsiblity. I remember reading a while back about a twisted story of murder and kidnapping associated with the rocketbelt.

Wanna know how to be the popular kid in school?? Claim to have ADD

a leading pediatrician has recommened of prescribing pot to ADD laden kids.

She preformed her adress wearing a tiedyed t-shirt and some hemp sandles. She was quoted as saying, "Why would anyone want to give their child an expensive pill … when they could be smoking weed" after this comment she ended the adress claiming she needed to go to taco bell and also get some ben and jerry's icecream. as an old VW bus/van pulled out she made one last unitelligable remark about a phish concert and sped away...

also she was quoted as saying, "i mean come on i want my kids to be popular and if they had a legal stash just think they could make like five times what they could with a paper route"

local bullies were quoted as being very receptive of the idea, "i used to have to steal lunch money but now... well you can see how me and my fellow bullies are behind this 'sound' medical advice"

note: the premise of the story is true some of the quotes are not...

World's Tallest man vs. world's smallest cell phone

The Guinness Book of World Records was started in the 1950's by Sir Hugh Beaver as the definitive guide to resolving disputes.

The Guinness Book of World Records was really the paper version of the Internet. Before the internet where else could you find answers to life's most difficult questions? It used to be first to the guinness book of world records, second to the encyclopedia britannica. Now all disputes are resolved by Google and imdb.

I remember it being the book to get when the scholastic book fair came to our school every year. In the good old days they used to cram about 1000 newspaper print thin black and white pages into a nice paperback that contained stories that fascinated the average schoolboy mind. World's longest car. World's tallest house of cards, World's longest fingernails, World's largest gas station, World's largest ambulance ... Now the book is a wimpy color hardback version of highlights that pales in comparison to how comprehensive the original used to be.

Robert Wadlow always stuck out as the world's tallest man. His modern day counterpart Leonid Stadnik lives in a world where smaller is always better. We live in a world of cell phones, PDA's, laptops that make life for modern day giants impossible. Right now Stadnik is probably the world's tallest living man, but life is incredibly difficult for this giant. He has trouble getting around, getting clothes and shoes, and his knees hurt. But thanks to the internet, at least now he can be famous.

Drinking and Not Driving Kills

I couldn't decide what the moral of this drinking and driving story was. Don't drink and not drive or Friend's don't let girlfriend's drive.

A man gave his girlfriend the keys to his car after deeming himself too drunk to drive. She was driving to pick him up when she "felt a bump." Yadda Yadda Yadda, Liza Besser was charged with Drunk Driving and killing a man.

Not Again.

well i finially found the reason that im getting to be way smarter than noah.

once again i dont feel witty today... sorry

Always keep some food in your car!

no witty commentary, just a post...

I'm Back

and what better way to start the week than with a lil cnn.com! This quote speaks for itself

"A fast-food loving beauty queen from Missouri who has two master's degrees and once wrestled a greased pig in a mud pit was crowned Miss USA 2004."

yeah i dont know what to make of that either dont worry..

Isn't this just stupid?

Ashley Revell, a 32-year-old Londoner, has sold all of his possessions and amassed all of his cash and gone to Vegas. He weighed in at 75,000 pounds or $138,000 in real money. For the past week, he's been playing with $3000 to try and raise some cash so that he hits 50 tons, or 100,000 pounds or $184,000 in real money. Tomorrow, April 11th, he will put it all on the table at the Hard Rock Casino. A British TV crew has started following Ashley around to document before the spin, and after the spin capturing what its like to be penniless and to be a guy named Ashley.

Ouch.

This woman has high pain-tolerance. Can you imagine performing surgery on yourself? Especially down there? I think I'd need more than "three small glasses of hard liquor."

Pants on Fire

It looks like everyone's favorite crybaby, Audry Seiler has changed her story. Apparently she wasn't so much "abducted" as she "wanted to be alone". While this may annoy the millions of people across the country that were worried about her, much releived over the matter: MR. Potatohead.

Cartoon Characters on Strike

Amazing to me is that the Simpsons are in their 16th season. Even more amazing to me, they're on strike. The voices behind the Simpsons have gone on strike to demand higher pay. They currently makes $125,000 per episode, which is about a day's work. They're demanding $360,000. I'm sorry, but that is a ton of cash to make for being the voice in one episode. I'm there are a ton of fans who have learned to do the voices after watching for 16 episodes who would gladly do the show for half of what they're already being paid. Or maybe I should let the producers in on a little secret that might save them a whole lot of cash.

Put down that chalupa and strip

Looks like this prankster has been at large since 1999. His crime takes advantage of the stupidity of the average fast food industry manager. Here's a scenario. He calls in long distance to a Taco Bell. He then gives the manager a rough description of a girl and tells the manager to bring her back into his office. Then the man on the phone tells the manager to strip search the girl.
This ridiculous charade has occurred over and over again at places like Taco Bell, Burger King, and Hooters. The managers have been paying for their mistakes. Burger King paid $35,000 after a manager performed a strip search on an employee after a man on a phone told him to.

Sorry to Pull a Jesse..

...and post directly from CNN.com but I found This Story to be interesting. It looks like not all the residents of Iraq are happy about the "opportunity" for a new government that America has given them. At least not the residents who cheered as the coprses of American civilians were beaten with sticks and hung from a Euphrates river bridge. Oh well, at least we got rid of all those WMDs that we went over there to get in the first place.*

On behalf of Bryantchoung.com I expess our sincere condolences to the victims families.

if you win bryant will buy you one of our T-shirts to wear on the show

procter and gamble is giving away a very odd prize... a free spot to be on the next survivor.. fill out the form and send something in... blah blah blah.. couple months later you're eating pig brains to win an imunity challenge...

Snow Cones?

Just needed to post something...
Danish artist Marco Evaristti has traveled to Greenland to make the world's largest snow cone. Rather than calling a dessert, he calls it "art." But he went to GREENland and then painted an entire iceberg RED thoroughly confusing everyone. Previously this "artist" created a piece with 10 goldfish in blenders. He encouraged his visitors to turn on the blenders, and when finally one did a pair of goldfish were surprisingly ground up. Why this qualifies as art? Who knows?

Don't Forget Pee Wee, Joe

Speaking of celebrity Shenanigans, lets not forget Paul Reubens, better known to the world as Pee Wee Herman who recently plead guilty to obsenity charges. This remeinds me of when Pee Wee was first busted for indecent exposure in a theatre, my sister has a button that read " Let My Pee Wee GO!!!" I really dont know how anyone can be suprised that someone who sat on a talking chair named charrie, and hung out with a pterodactyl, and kept a disembodied talking head that he called a genie in his cupboard, turned out to be weird.

Fact or Fiction

This story is so odd that i'm going to let you decide if it's a new movie script or a news article based on some snippets:

...left the zoo without a solid explanation of how the 13-year-old gorilla got past walls 12 to 16 feet high with moats and electrified wires...
...In a tape of one 911 call released by authorities Monday, a zoo secretary calmly tells the operator that police are needed. In another call, Dallas resident Enrique DeLeon urgently requests help. "There's a gorilla loose, and it's going after people," he says frantically. "Are you serious?" the dispatcher asks. DeLeon responds, "I'm serious. I swear to God. I am not joking. There's people yelling. It's going after people. ... There's kids in here. Please. ... Please hurry up."...
...Cheryl Reichert, 39, trying to close a door to the aviary, but the gorilla forced it open and jumped on her..
... "He picked him up like a rag doll and then bit him in the head,"...
... She was yelling, 'Hurry up! Hurry up!' But I told her she needed to be quiet or the gorilla would come back up,"...
After they were pulled through the netting, a zoo employee armed with a fire extinguisher led them to a nearby barn,...
..."Unfortunately, the police encountered Jabari and he charged them, and they really had no choice," ...

weird

What a slap in the face!

some british cave divers got trapped in a Mexican cave there were exploring. Since their conditions arent extremely dire they turned down an offer to get rescued by mexico and decided to wait for the british navy to save them...

If i were mexico i would be super mad. you offer to help only to hear in a snobby british acsent that your help isnt wanted!!! ouch...

Quality or Quanity?

Cnn.com once again reports what many scientist have known for a while... eating less and doing so correctly will increase your life span... thus you get more quanity of life but you also get a life devoid of bacon, sausage, or any other tasty processed meat....

the great thing though is they say that you can start at any age. thus wait until your 70 and cant really chew or taste the food you're eating and then just start eating nothing but a lil bit of oats...

Do you ever wonder if someday there will be only two coporations in the world: Microsoft and Walmart?

Walmart has decided to start selling songs online in a big way. The price is only 88 cents compared with the 99 cent songs of itunes. While i love my own superwalmart, this song venture coupled with the new automated "self checkout" machines rather frightens me... am i the only one?

PBR Comeback

The idea that Pabst Blue Ribbon is making a comeback is so ridiculous that even CNN puts the story in its Offbeat News section.

Jacko and John Kerry

Here's a picture that shows Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney holding up a picture that compares John Kerry's and Michael Jackson's alleged plastic surgery. This is just an odd photo. You can leave your own captions in comments.

Hippies Never Make Sense

a recent msnbc.com article is titled, "Meat-eating vegetarians transform the movement." now just think about that does that make any sense? one sub-title in the article is, "I really like sausage." Please someone untangle this to make some sense. With this logic good ole Ted Nugent is a vegaterian.

New Testament in ASL

According to CNN, the New Testament has been translated into American Sign Language. While at first this seemed like a very nice and good thing, I then thought, "wait a sec, it's not like deaf people can't read..." According to one of the guys behind it, it's mainly for deaf people whose second language is English... so an ASL Bible would be good for them. But then again, can't these people just read the Bible in their own language? I feel like I'm not making sense.

Just because i like posting crap.

Get out your whistles and sing a exhuberent (sp) Happy Birthday for the McDonald's Happy Meal it just turned 25!!!!! i must have eaten a bijillion (1 followed by 18 zeros) of these as a kid. Three thoughts: Did you know grown up people collect those toys? Some of toys are recalled because of choking hazards (maybe if the food tasted better the kids wouldnt look to the toys for nutrional value) and lastly in case you wanna eat one now as an adult read this book first.

Sorry for being a hypocrite about the caps.

and you thought you had a bad day

sorry its too late for CAPS. anyways, it seems a deaf man didn't have his hearing aids in and thus walked in front of a train and was hit. an ambulance then showed up to take him the hospital. but sadly the amublance was then hit by a car on the way to the hospital. This has to be as rare as being struck my lightning.

Why Can't all Health Food Taste This Good?

Some French Nutrionists think that "le Royale with Cheese" (aka le Big Mac) is a healthy meal or at least healthier than other french foods.... no wonder everyone in the Western world is beefy... sorry for the pun...

Upset Stomach

Whever I take something apart and try and put it back together or back in the box, I always get everything to fit nicely, and there always seems to be extra screws or something that I can't find where it goes. For a 6 month old girl in Miami, she's lucky I'm not her surgeon. She had a record 8 organs transplanted in her body. It's amazing that doctors can give someone a complete overhaul like this. On her shopping list was a liver, stomach, pancreas, small intestine, large intestine, spleen and two kidneys.

It's the End of the World as We Know it.

Better club a baby seal fast, time might be running out. A recent study found that a "mass extinction" may be under way. Now the study only focused on England so we might be safe. I mean at least the USA is trying to do something about the problem. And another thing, it seems as if another big rock almost crashed into us making it the second close call in several months.

I better get all my life goals done fast.... so far the one of the few goals I've managed to complete is getting my pic on a T-shirt...

Science has Proved Guinness is Really as Thick as Motor Oil

Happy St. Patricks day.. in a recent CNN.com article "Guinness mystery finally solved" researchers have found that the bubbles in Guinness somehow travel downward because of the liquid's friction.... it is brilliant how they conducted their experiments...

"Our group carried out preliminary experiments at a local pub a few years ago, but the results proved inconclusive," said Dr. Andrew Alexander, from the University of Edinburgh's School of Chemistry." aka they drank a whole lotta beer in the name of science.

I wonder how scienctists are picked to work on such inspiring projects. I think more people should help fund these types of experiments. But now that a lab, instead of some drunk guy in a bar, has proved the bubbles do travel down we can all rest easier...

St. Patty's day humor: In Chicago they dye the river green for St. Patty's day which begs the question: if they can dye it green one day a year why can't they dye it blue the rest of the time?????

Virtual bovine rectal palpatations

Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it? In clearly a display of an abuse of technology, The bovine simulator project only simulates one thing, rectal palpatation. This "training" device allows students to reach inside a virtual rectum to check for health indicators in the cow. The device is a 3D environment with haptic feedback all making the experience "more real". The pictures are priceless, They are also working on making a horse version named HOPS, I say it's only time before someone "goes there" and makes a human version, HOLE.

Bill Gates Needs More Money?

Bill Gates has proposed that we start buying eStamps for our emails... like mabye a penny a pop.... but the article fails to mention that hotmail is owned my msn..... thus at a penny an email, hotmail is no