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November 30, 2005
What do you call a Pine Tree with Lights?
A spruce tree with 10,000 lights and 5,000 ornaments. What do you call it? Well for the past few years, we've been sneaky and we've called it a holiday tree. Anybody see a christmas tree? You shouldn't. It's a Holiday Tree.
Maybe if having a ginormous christmas tree in front of the capitol is so offensive to all the non-christians out there, maybe they shouldn't have the Christmas tree at all. But apparently if you just call it something else, suddenly its not so offensive.
It's actually degrading to think that they're hoping that they're fooling non-christians that somehow a big ass tree with lights and ornaments is not a christmas tree. Somehow the same thing that has caused so much harm and anguish in malls and public places is suddenly ok once we start calling it something else.
And when has a Christmas tree ever done any harm? All it does is bring a fat man who gives presents to kids. Who wouldn't like that?
If they want to get rid of offensive Christmas Decorations, they should outlaw holiday sweaters. Right after thanksgiving these sweaters must start growin in these semi blind peoples drawers. First they spawn a red blue or green background, then they start growing snow, trees, snowmen, the red fat man, and mebbe even some reindeer. Some of this crap even gets even more advanced adding ribbon, bells, and lighting.
So I'm proposing a list of things I find offensive I'd like to rename:
Michael Jackson : Chaperone
Canada : North Dakota
NAAMBLA : Free Daycare
Illegal Aliens : Migrant Workers
Stealing : Borrowing
Crapping in Public Places : Art
Posted by Bryant at November 30, 2005 09:40 AM
Comments
We prefer North North Dakota.
Posted by: Chris at December 1, 2005 10:33 PM