August 09, 2005
Checks that sign you up for stuff should be illegal
You know what really grinds my gears?
Those checks that credit card companies send to you to sign up for worthless crap like "credit monitoring service" upon cashing.
Normally it doesn't bother me that much, but today, received an envelope from CHASE that had my name in a faux handwritten font, which also grinds my gears. Who actually belives that somebody took the time to handwrite every single letter. But anyways, there was a handwritten note on the envelope saying special offer Check Enclosed.
As I went to open the rear flap, I noticed that the gold seal was a bit loose. It turns out this was because the entire contents of this envelope were missing.
So now I'm thinking theres some jerk out there who's cashed a check made out to Bryant Choung and scored off with 10 bucks while I sit here stuck signed up for god knows what for eternity and without a single phone number to call to cancel.
These damn things should be illegal. Anybody can clearly see this is a scam and you can't just send a check which might end up getting cashed on accident between a couple rebate checks.
Anyways I called the credit card division, and here is a short transcript of our call
Me: Hello, I'm calling to ask about an empty envelope I received from Chase.
Greg Redford(Phone center Operator): yes?
Me: Well I'm concerned that I may have been signed up for one of your services because the envelope says "special offer check enclosed"
Greg: Ok
Me: Well who can I speak to about this?
Greg: Well this is the credit card office
Me: Ok, well do you know who I can call or talk to about this?
Greg: I work in credit cards.
Me: I understand, but at this point I have no point of contact, I just need some direction on where to go.
Greg: Do you have a social security number?
Me: Is this necessary?
Greg: Just give me your social security number.
Me: XXX-XX-XXXX
Greg: You don't have a credit card with us.
Me: I know I just want to talk to whoever can clear up this envelope situation.
Greg: I don't know anything about that. I'm in credit cards.
Me: Please just tell me who else in Chase might be able to help.
Greg: Call your local Branch
Me: The local branch? It looks like this is something sent nationally.
Greg: Have a nice day.
Chase apparently doesn't have a local branch in the DC area so I searched in NYC. Apparently I got the Chase branch in Chinatown.
Me: Hello, I was directed here from the Credit card office.
Assistant Branch Manager: Ok
Me: I received an empty envelope that says "special offer check enclosed" and I wanted to make sure that I wasn't signed up for any of your services
ABM: We sent you an empty envelope.
(I wasn't sure if this was a statement or a question)
Me: Yes. And I just wanted to know who I could call to get this cleared up
ABM: Call the Credit Card division.
Me: I just called and they sent me here.
ABM: We didn't mail the envelope.
Me: I know. I just need a number to call.
ABM: Sorry, I don't know anything
Me: I just need to know what department or division I can call
ABM: Check inside envelope for phone number.
Me: The envelope is empty
ABM: Sorry.
Me: Sorry?
ABM: Sorry. Have a nice day.
So now I'm out of ideas and I'm tired. Thinking about running for office just so I can pass a law that makes these things illegal, or I'll just wait till I get my first bill.
Posted by Bryant at August 9, 2005 11:16 AM
Comments
Well they probably couldn't do anything without your ssn; but you may want to establish a fraud alert or freeze on your credit report:
Posted by: Edwin at August 9, 2005 02:17 PM
An optimistic thought Edwin, but I don't think our boy Greg had enough foresight, drive or aptitude to perform such a task.
Posted by: Bryant at August 9, 2005 02:19 PM
I was thrown off by the CHASE logo on the front of the envelope, I should have paid attention to the address on the back.
Using google maps I got a location of where the the letter was coming from. I called a couple branches around the address, but they had no idea what I was talking about or what was at 40 oakview drive, trumbull, connecticut 06611.
Looking back at google results brought me to this page:
https://www.netmarket.com/global/scripts/bcatemplate.asp?include=terms
Looks like they were the real culprits.
However, after talking to their customer service, they basically said ther was nothing they could do.
So now I sit and wait.
In the meantime, thinking about sending a check to 40 Oakview drive in trumbull that signs them up for a monthly bryantchoung.com service fee.
Posted by: Bryant at August 9, 2005 02:48 PM
Hey, I used to go to Trumbull to watch movies! They have the only stadium seating around!
Posted by: Bernie at August 10, 2005 12:13 AM
Excellent. We now have some muscle in the enemy territory.
Posted by: bryant at August 10, 2005 08:24 AM